How to make the perfect plum crumble
First, simply go back in time ten years and plant a plum tree In order to plant the tree, be financially stable enough to own a house and garden Cultivate the type of friend who buys you a fruit tree from Aldi as a birthday present A friend that you fell out with years ago, but who comes to mind every time you reach for a ripe plum Wait years for the tree to grow, enjoy the pure white blossom each spring During this time, consult the internet for advice on care of fruit trees Ignore most of this Mulch haphazardly, prune erratically, chase pigeons from its branches Wait for a year of extreme heat, for thousands of solar hours converted to sweet fruit Branches drooping thick with plums the colour of a bruise You don’t know how this tree can stand it, but she is magnificent in her abundance In the mornings the grass beneath her offers a banquet for wasps, ants, slugs A cocky squirrel grabs one in its front paws and nibbles voraciously Everyone is feasting on her generosity And yet, ...